7 Reasons Why I Need Coffee

Let’s talk about why I need coffee every day of my life.

God bless those of you who don’t need any help from the sweet nectar of the gods because you can wake up chipper as hell as soon as you open your eyes. As for this girl, I need it to be able to function because it is the perfect pick-me-up. Here are 7 reasons why I justify my addiction:

1. Mood
When I wake up in the morning, I am usually not prepared for human interaction before that first sip of coffee awakens my soul. I can smile, say good morning, and give hugs instead of being an asshole to anyone. What I can’t do before I turn my coffee machine on is have a life-related conversation. Those deep conversations will cause me stress to stress out if I am not mentally prepared for them. Can you just let me drink half of a cup before we start in on those?

2. My Child
If you have a child or children and you don’t drink coffee to survive, kudos to you. I need it like oxygen. God knew exactly what he was doing by giving me Lauren. That child wakes up EVERY single morning like glitter and unicorns and I wake up like the walking dead. She makes it impossible not to interact first thing in the morning and has no problem with breathing her dragon breath in my face. When I make my first cup, I get so consumed with like that I have to microwave it numerous times before I get to finish it all. If your kid(s) allow you to drink a hot cup of coffee in full, reward them—period. Between all the sass, not listening, and talking back, sometimes I’ll drink my coffee at 5pm.

3. Energy
The funny thing about the word ‘energy’ is that it is a word of the past. When I first started drinking coffee, back in my Long Beach City College days, it gave me energy. Waking up and leaving the house by 5:30 am to get to school and into my 7:00 am class on time required a fix. I would go into the coffee shop on campus and get the largest cup they had. It was great! I felt new, alive and I was able to stay awake in those early morning classes. The energy it gave my newly 17-year-old self was amazing. I felt like I could conquer the world! What it gives me now is totally different. It gives my 31-year-old-self immediate happiness and an energy burst that lasts only for a few hours. After that, I start to crash and just feel drained, but I still need it.

4. Withdrawal Headaches
These may be one of the most painful headaches I’ve had in my life! If they gave out frequent flyer miles for having headaches, I’d be a platinum member. There’s something about the withdrawal headache that is different from a regular headache because withdrawal headaches kick my ass! I can feel it creeping up on me and if I catch it fast enough, I can make coffee and drink it fast to avoid the headache. If I can’t get any in my system, my life is over for the day. SO. MUCH. PAIN.

5. Coffee Mugs, Duh!
Because everyone loves coffee mugs! I cannot be the only one who has hordes of them. I guess I can use all these cute mugs for tea and hot chocolate (which I do), but I use them mainly for the good stuff. I have to get a new one with every Christmas holiday and Valentine’s day, and travel mugs for the car because coffee on-the-go is essential. I even have a board on Pinterest dedicated to mugs called, “Mornings Aren’t Magical without Coffee.” So even though this is #5 on my list, it’s really closer to the top of my list. It would definitely be #2 if I didn’t have a child.

6. Bonding Time
Let’s say you have a group of friends staying with you from out of town. You all wake up early, someone puts on a large pot of coffee and you guys sit around drinking it. Then, you start breakfast and talk about what you all are planning for the day.

Local coffee places are used as date/meet spots for the online dating crowd. I think its cool because it takes the pressure off of that first date. You can do it during the day, and not be so worried about dressing up. If you aren’t into the person, it’s easier to leave the coffee shop than if you were at dinner. A lot of people share coffee as a common interest, so the social aspect of it is easy like Sunday morning.

7. It Tastes AMAZING
I like mines strong; it has to taste like dirt. I can’t drink anything that’s a light roast or decaf… barf. I use just enough of my favorite Vanilla Caramel flavor creamer to turn the black coffee dark brown, but it still has to taste like dirt. I don’t want it to be really sweet or else I can’t get it down, but if I am going to have something sweet with my coffee (which I try to often), it would be some kind of sweet bread. Blueberry muffin, homemade banana bread, a Danish, you know something that can give me the sugar rush on top of the caffeine.

Dominique Harkness, www.morningsarentmagical.com

1 comment